currveygal

I am pulling out my hair today. This week has been hell!!!!! Started with my man getting pulled over onhis way home- our anniversary Fri. because the dimrod didnt pay tickets etc. his license was suspended and was taken to JAIL.  Lemme tell you the info age is something else cause all I had to do was type in my county and Jail into google and found a site for inmate information. typed in his name and VIOLA! theres my jailbirds information including that he is to go before a judge at 9am the next morning. so needless to say I didnt waste my $ bonding him out. instead of a romantic anniversary dinner he had bologna and oatmeal cookies. Me on the other hand went nuts and straight to drive thru window of Krystals for the CHEESONATOR COMBO!!!!! I inhaled the food in the car without tasting.

at court the next morning Im told that they have 90 felons that were arrested and were doing them before the misdemoner traffic violations and such so I sat and sat and sat and trotted my fat ass to the vending mach for everything from sugar babies to cheetos. Yes I sat there licking the cheese off my fingers in front of everyone. I finally got to go in and watched the drama of court. If I wasnt there for him I wouldve had a blast watching. especially the prostitutes they got a easy judge and you shouldve seen them praising the deal they got!

course when Greg finally gets to the judge hes tired from the felons and such and just wants to get home so he got time served and $283 fine. I gained 6 lbs!

hes having to ride the bus in the morning but I went last nite to pick him up and had a flat tire on the way home. riding on the donut now til payday.

its been one thing after another after another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I too caught up in external priorities- achievements and acquisitions that have nothing to do with my spiritual wellbeing? A good antidote is to take time each day to free my mind of such concerns, let my thoughts wander, perhaps into thankfulness for my new life, into awareness of myself as a being created by God, in exploration of ways I can be useful to another person.

My intermost being is a retreat where I can reach out to my Higher Power, renew my spirit and nourish my life.

(From FOR TODAY a daily OA devotional)

“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie- deliberate, contrived, and dishonest- but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.” - John F. Kennedy

My food addiction was acquired so I could survive and cope in earlier, painful circumstances. Thus began two myths: First, that pain was to be avioded at all costs, and second, that eating would relieve the pain free of charge. These myths were useful then, but they are insanity today.

  As I become willing to accept the truth that is revealed to me , the myths I clumg to so desperatley lose credibility. I no longer need to be anesthetized; I can stand still and feel my feelings. I dont think something is wrong if Im not happy every minute.

For today: The more I accept the reality of what is, the more comfortable and serene my life becomes.

exerpt is from For Today my daily devotional from OA

I gained 36 lbs since November compulsively overeating. Damn! Damn! Damn! so I stopped coming on the site.  going to make it my main screen so it looks at me and I wont neglect it.